You may be shocked to find out that most parents aren’t enjoying being parents. It’s a lot of responsibility that could add stress to your life if you let it. Being a parent can be a rewarding experience if that is what you desire. Choose to be a ‘happy’ parent and you will be. If parenting is driving you up a wall, the following may explain why.
Worry. How much time to you spend worrying about your kids? You worry they’ll fall in with the wrong crowd. You worry they won’t get into the college of their dreams. You worry about them becoming or getting someone pregnant. Your worry they’ll do drugs or drink. Your worrying will eventually manifest your worst nightmare. Stop worrying! You can’t control what your kids do, but you can provide them with the right tools that will help them make the right choices. They’ll test you from time-to-time just like you tested your parents. It’s the cycle of life. Embrace it and do your best not to worry.
You listen to others. This article is to provide parents with supplemental information on parenting. You can either ignore or pay attention to it. You don’t have to listen to ‘parenting experts’ or implement everything you read. Take what resonates with you and leave the rest.
You compare your parenting to skills other parents. Stop comparing yourself to other parents. You may think they’re the best parents in the world but you don’t live with them 24/7. You don’t know what happens behind closed doors. They could be horrible parents who know how to ‘act’ like good parents when they’re in the public eye. Be the best parents you can be and stop comparing your skills to other parents.
Parenting unconsciously. You could be parenting your children unconsciously. You go through the motions of parenting without even thinking about it. You get fall into a daily routine that soon takes over your life. Break out of your routine by doing something different each day. Drive your kids to school via a different route. Schedule ‘family’ time every Friday or whatever day of the week works best for your family. Become more present in your life to become more present in the lives of your children.
Remember, you have 60,000 or more thoughts going through your mind every day that may affect your parenting. If you’re constantly thinking negative thoughts about parenting, they will affect your parenting. Stop every now and again and be mindful of your thoughts. What are you thinking? How are these thoughts serving you and your family? Once you begin to notice where your thoughts go, you’ll be able to change them. It will have a positive impact on your parenting skills.
Trying to change your kids. You can’t change anyone — you can only change yourself. Once your children are born they’re on their own so to speak. You can’t control them or mold them to be who you want them to be. They have every right to be who they are. You may not like to hear this but it’s true. Accept your children, flaws and all. Don’t you want to be accepted? Didn’t you wish your parents would let you be who you wanted to be? The world would be a better place if we’d stop trying to change each other. Your kids will eventually figure out who they are. For now, allow them to be kids.
If you’ve been stressing out over being a parent, stop it! You won’t be a good parent to your kids if you constantly worry or suffer from ‘monkey mind’ syndrome. Parenting can be a joyful experience if that is what you desire. If you prefer to have ‘drama-rama’ in your life then by all means keep worrying and doing what you’re doing. If you’d like to enjoy your kids and family, shift your perspective around parenting and watch as your world becomes transformed.